Believe
by GoddessOfTheCarries
Summary: "You may no longer believe yourself...but will you believe me?" After returning from the quest, Nami finds it hard to trust anything anymore, not even herself. She believes that she is insane... until someone came along. How could she trust Kalista, and how would she believe that she is real, when nothing she sees may be true anymore? Can she believe that love still exists?
1. Prologue

**Hey everyone. Welcome to my second major project that involves my OTP. This is a much, much more depressed version of a story compared to my previous one, Soulbounded.**

 **Speaking of which, I did say I want to rework that story at some point but I have decided to not give up on the original, since it still has a decent plotline going after all. I'm working on that chapter as well.** **So, yeah, don't worry, for all of you followers, the story still wouldn't be abandoned.** **Meanwhile, I have this story come up, that has stayed in my mind for way longer than it was supposed to.**

 **Keep it mind: This story is sort of a tragedy as well. A little. Because it is going to be depressing. If you wanted to read something lighthearted you should not read this. This story was composed into a plot by a lot of different songs, and it will be the best if you listen to them when you read, I guarantee you will cry... some lyrics might even actually make it into the real story itself, and by that it usually means a full song. So... if you want to read this, be prepared.**

 **If you're ready, let's go straight to my new story of my Kalista/Nami OTP. I warned you, be prepared.**

* * *

Everyone knows about the Tidecaller and the quest she was on to save her tribe.

At first, nobody knew much about the Marai, a Vastayan race that lived in the Guardian's Sea. They preferred to stay hidden most of the time, and none have actually seen one or communicated with one.

That was until Nami, the Tidecaller for this era, did something that no Marai has ever did before and ventured out of the sea and onto open land to search for the moonstone. And became a champion of the League Of Legends.

Now, the Tidecaller's quest was no longer a secret, and everyone was knowing more and more about the sea-dwelling creatures with one of them being a League champion.

The task had seemed impossible for years. No matter where Nami went, it never seemed like she never had any success of finding the stone that was the key to the safety of her tribe. Most had perceived it to be a never-ending quest.

But now, it seems like everyone had been wrong.

The quest was finally completed.

Yet, it wasn't as much of a good news as everyone had expected.

The Tidecaller did not return unharmed, which was not completely unexpected. She didn't really suffer major wounds - but a few injuries might have been rather serious - and painful to bear. Soraka had easily fixed that up with her magic.

However, it seemed like the quest had left worse effects on the Marai rather than just physical injuries.

Ever since she came back, Nami had fallen sick.

Not sick physically. Mentally. She had not been deemed sane ever since she returned. No one knew what happened, and no one could get her to say anything before she lost her mind. Ever since then, she has been in a mental trauma and had never been deemed sane enough to leave the hospital.

The quest had been completed... but the cost of it was leaving the Tidecaller who had completed it broken and confined to a bed in the ward of the Institute Of War, instead of back home and free, out in the open sea... like how she was supposed to be.

The first of her kind to leave her home just to protect her people... and the first to return successful, unharmed, victorious...

...but completely shut down.

* * *

 **That's it for now, a small prologue that is meant to just give a rather quick explanation of how the situation has escalated to this at the point where my next chapter starts.** **Enjoy and I hope you all have a good day.**

 **~Frosty**


	2. Imprisonment

**Hey everyone, I'm back with the update! :D Didn't take you as long as you expected, right? I know the prologue was short, but hey, this chapter is only the start of the story. I hope you all would enjoy it!**

 **As for why it is rated M, I forgot to explain last chapter, but this might contain lemon, so I just want it to be safe. Oh, and there might be some disturbing scenes, mostly in flashback forms.**

 **So, here we go, my first official chapter of this story.**

 **No songs to be featured just yet, still a relatively calm start.**

* * *

 **Imprisonment**

1 year, 7 months, 21 hours and 14 minutes.

It had been this long since her imprisonment. It didn't matter what Soraka or the summoners told her - it was imprisonment. At least, maybe not directly - but it made no difference to Nami, who had been confined to the point where she had started counting the days that she had been here. It was not that hard to do, with a digital clock in the broadcasting crystal attached to the wall of her room.

Almost two whole years. With no hope of being released sooner or later.

She was supposed to be here because she was considered "mentally unfit to be functioning normally", which in other words means, insane. However, as the time passed by, Nami was starting to think that this was driving her even more crazy than before.

As the door opened to reveal the Starchild herself entering the room, she paid no attention to her, despite the attempted greetings she still tried to make. She didn't particularly care. Maybe she once would have, but if she did, she wouldn't be here at the first place.

The celestial healer sighed before she drew the curtains of the only window in the room, letting the sunlight enter the otherwise dimly lit room. Despite being the only window, it was still big enough to be a reliable source of light, and the only way to remind Nami of how the real world outside looked like. Where she was supposed to be. Where she could be now, if she wasn't forced to stay.

What once might had been an inviting sign of a good day was now nothing more than a terrible irritation to her. On a normal day, she would have happily accepted the warmth of the light on her skin, but now, it only served to distress her further, if not angering her at all. It wasn't her fault, really. How could anyone not hate something that is right in front of you yet completely out of your reach, and it comes back every single day to find you? As if to taunt you with the freedom it meant?

So she had resorted to turning her face into a snarl every time the sunlight shone on her face at any hour of the day.

A summoner had entered the room and had started to talk to Soraka some time along the way, but Nami didn't bother to acknowledge their presence. She thought she heard the healer said something about matches, the Institute and some medicine, but she couldn't catch any of it. Not that she wanted to, anyway.

Maybe the only thing which was still keeping her in mind was the view of the outside world and the League matches that still went on the broadcasting crystal every day. She didn't know why she bothered, but maybe she admitted she wasn't willing to give in to insanity just yet, even if everyone is already claiming she is crazy. Seeing these games go on... she felt a flash of longing, and possibly jealousy, as to why only she would be left out of all of it. It wasn't her main priority back then, but she couldn't say she didn't like the experiences, given that they were effective breaks from her quest.

The quest. The Tidecaller quest which had changed her life forever, and possibly ruined it forever too.

The very reason why she was confined to a hospital bed and deemed insane by everyone else.

It had been almost two years, yet she still remembered all of it, as if she had just escaped from the horrible scene a few seconds ago. Even when she was not trying to think of it, it seemed to cling on to her like a leech sucking blood, draining away all color from her face every time she was reminded of it. To Nami, it wasn't just flashbacks or phantom pain... it was _real_ pain, along with pure, unrestrained fear that came every time she saw them again. Saw what she had to endure to just barely make it out victorious, in a way.

Yes, see. The fearful things she'd encountered - it took form in visions. When it happened, the whole world will slip away from her, and suddenly, she was back in the darkest place of Runeterra, and the whole process will repeat itself - clearly and slowly and horribly. As if someone had recorded the whole process of the quest was now replaying it over and over again in her life, as if just to torture her. Sometimes, she even questioned if succeeding was such a good thing, after all, if it only resulted in endless suffering like this. Sometimes, she even thought she was going to die, and wondered if that was infinitely better than living in this state.

Yet, every time, when the fear the things brought drove her to the point where she felt like it was the end, they would suddenly disappear, just like how they actually did. She made it out alive. She escaped and completed the quest. They were no longer there. But what they did... and even worse, what she herself did during the times... they all seemed so real, even if everyone kept telling her that it was not, that it was all from her mind, that it was all fake. Every time the traumatic experiences tormented her endlessly until she ultimately thought she would just give in and let death claim her, and they would just leave, as if nothing had ever happened.

As if they were not the ones who had left her imprisoned in this state at the first place.

Yet, she didn't completely blame the summoners who had decided to place her here, under the care of Soraka and her assistants. Because, she knew, in the end, it wasn't their fault. Not at all. If someone knew what had happened during the quest... If someone knew what the Tidecaller had did for the sake of her own safety... She would definitely not blame them for fearing her, or even confining her, as they were doing right now.

Most of the time, these conflicting thoughts will just start internal battles within her, which she ignored completely. Not that they were much of a distraction for what that haunted her every living moment, that threatened to just burst through and ruin the peaceful moments where she was in. It didn't matter whether she was asleep or awake, in her room or out, whether it was day or night. The haunting past didn't choose when or where, it just came. And in the same way, every single time.

None of this was her fault. She didn't choose to encounter all of those, she was forced to choose, to make the decisions that would ultimately only benefit her tribe. If their tribe knew what she did just to save them, they would never blame her for doing it. Heck, they should be grateful that she did these things to save them! If only they could ever know.

However, deep down, she knew there was no one to blame but herself. After all, it was her who had bravely - maybe recklessly - taken on the role of a Tidecaller when her tribe had warned her _not_ to go. Sure, they were impressed, but she was pretty sure they won't be right now, if they ever found out, which is also, technically impossible. This was all her fault, and she had to bear the consequences of what she'd done despite the warnings she'd been given.

And now, she was a prisoner of the Institute Of War.

"...and allowing her to go out might be necessary." The sentence snapped Nami out of her dark thoughts, temporarily.

"I think we should ask her directly," the summoner told Soraka. She nodded in response before turning to Nami. "Nami. We are deciding to let you out of this room for a while. We are not releasing you, mind that - but I think you deserve a break after so long. No patient should be trapped in a same place every day."

It was as if a new ray of light had shone through the darkness of her heart. Maybe this was her chance to finally escape, escape all of this torture that she had been forced to endure for so long. Maybe she didn't even need to wait for two years to be released. Maybe this would be all over, if they just let her go...

Nami must have involuntarily smiled, because Soraka's own smile told her that. "Not just let you out, but we are letting you participate in a match for once." She continued.

The ray of light disappeared as soon as it came, fading into nothingness once again as the darkness overtook her heart once more.

A match. It was not that she hated the idea - being locked away from all the action did make her miss the Rift - at least a little, and she swore she even ached to be filling the support role a few times for the teams when she watched the matches go on... but simply not today, when she was making an escape. Staying in the League meant being under the control of a summoner the whole time, which removed any chance of possible escape.

But... if she was planning to escape, didn't that mean she wasn't returning to the League at all? Did that mean she had to run away from the summoners and the champions forever, just because they deemed her crazy? If she was insane in the eyes of everyone else, would running away even change anything?

 _Yes, it would,_ she thought to herself. _It means freedom. It doesn't matter what they think. I know, if I stay here, I will be really insane sooner or later._

Maybe she wouldn't have to plan an escape. Maybe she just needed to let them see that she wasn't insane, and all she needed was the fresh air of the real world outside. Maybe that will change their minds, if they can see the real problem here.

"Come on," Soraka said as she helped Nami out of the bed, her muscles sore and weak from being stationary too long. The Starchild gently took her staff from the other side of the room and gave it to the Tidecaller, giving her the ability to move along with the water magic it gave again.

As Soraka guided her out of the room and into the hallways, she thought to herself, _I'll prove that I don't need to stay here. I'll prove that I'm not insane._

But of course, if everything else fails... Finding a way to escape was still a solid backup plan.

Nami would do anything to free herself from this place, whatever the cost, to escape the imprisonment that she was now facing, to escape the insanity that it will slowly, but surely bring.

* * *

 **Alright, here's the end of my first chapter. I don't have much to say, as usual. See you all next chapter and I hope you all are looking forward to my next update.**

 **~Frosty**


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